Happy Good Friday! Today, I’m changing it up on the blog and wanted to talk about the comparison game. It’s something I think every single girl has struggled with, including me. In the age of social media, Pinterest perfect homes, perfect little squares on Instagram showing everybody’s picture-perfect life, family, body, etc. it’s easy to get caught up and think that there is something wrong with you and your life.
The funny thing is, when you compare yourself to what you see on social media you are comparing yourself to a false reality. I mean EVERYTHING on social media is curated, styled, edited to perfection. To an unrealistic perfection that is anything but real and most of the time, it’s also unauthentic too, #truth.
As a fashion blogger myself, I now know (most) of the tips and tricks for a flawless photo. How to work my angles. How to pose in-front of the camera. How to style my house. What parts of my house that are “Insta-worthy”. And truthfully, the list goes on and on.
Now that’s my job to curate content, style myself, style photo shoots and to produce quality images, especially when I’m collaborating with brands. But at the same time, it’s important for me to understand my job as a blogger is to blog about fashion and to ultimately make things look pretty. And that my real life is messy, unpredictable, FAR from perfect and not a curated app full of pretty images. Which is why separating my “blog life” from my “real life” is so important for my sanity and is how I’ve helped compare myself less to others, which still is a work in progress!
So with that being said, here are my 7 tips to conquer the comparison game for good!
7 Ways to Conquer the Comparison Game on Social Media:
1. Pay attention to your own work
If you’re a blogger and even if you’re not. Keep focused on your own work. Narrow in on your blog, your feed and ultimately your brand. If you find yourself constantly on another bloggers Instagram feed or blog comparing your work to theirs, then it’s time to stop looking. Literally, stop looking. Unfollow them on Instagram, unsubscribe to their mailing list and just center in on you and your own work. If it doesn’t serve you, get rid of it.
2. Keep track of your goals
See how bright you actually are shining, babe, by keeping track of your goals. Any goals. Big goals. Small goals. Personal goals. Work goals. Just keep track of YOUR progress. You’ll see how much your accomplishing and feel encouraged about the progress you’ve made. Don’t forget to give yourself credit, where credit is due, no matter how big or small YOUR goals are!
3. Learn to be happy for others
What’s with us women being jealous of other successful women? And if you’re a woman and you’re like “I’ve never been jealous of other women, what does she mean by that?” then I tip my hat to you! But man, I’ve been jealous of so many successful women in my life and women who I see on the ‘Gram and who I don’t even know. It’s seriously SO toxic to be envious of those who are successful around you. Learning to be happy for others can be really hard, especially if you feel stagnant in your own life. My piece of advice would be to understand that God has a different plan for everyone and your plan isn’t going to look like someone else’s. You need to embrace your life, your path and the opportunities that come your way and stop comparing yourself to somebody else’s.
4. Be grateful
Be grateful for your life, period. Living your life in a state of gratitude is life-changing. When you are grateful for what God has blessed you with, it leaves little time for you to think about what others have been blessed with. If you need to, write down at least one thing every morning that you are thankful for. Maybe that’s your family, your home, your career, your kids or your health. Everybody has something they are grateful for no matter what challenges and problems they face in their life.
5. Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle
This is to all you blogger babes out there. Being a blogger is competitive. Growing your Instagram following (authentically), growing your blog readers and locking down *paid* brand collabs ain’t easy! But, what is easy, is looking at other bloggers who have been at it for years who seem to be killing the blogging game. Take a breath and take a step back. If you’ve been blogging for under a year, don’t compare yourself to a blogger who’s been at it for 5 years. Admire their work, be inspired, and follow your own blogging path.
Don’t even compare yourself to bloggers who’ve been blogging for the same amount of time as you. Cause as you’ll most definitely learn (like I have), that a lot of bloggers aren’t growing authentically. Now that’s another topic for another day. But my point is this, just don’t compare yourself.
6. Trust in God
I mentioned this above. But this needs its own point on its own. Now I am guilty of not trusting God 99% of the time, that’s just being honest. I like to be in control of my life, my blog, and my career and often shove God out of the plans I’ve made for myself. And then I end up looking at another blogger thinking, “Um God, why can’t that be me“. And then I realize that it’s because God has a plan for ME! A different plan from hers. A plan just for me. So trust in God’s plan for you and you only!
7. Put your damn phone down!
K, I had to be a little dramatic. But for real! Put your phone down and live a little! Trust me, social media is not going anywhere. And listen, I’m *trying* to practice what I preach here. Sometimes comparison just comes from constantly being on our phones and scrolling endlessly on Instagram. A phone detox is good for conquering comparison because then you have absolutely no one to compare yourself too, now isn’t that genius! 😉
I also wanted to share with you guys some quotes on comparison too that I absolutely love:
“Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt
” We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose” – Bob Goff
“Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.” Romans 12:6 (MSG)
I hope this encouraged you and I would love to know how you deal with comparison in the comments below!
Dress c/o | Turtleneck c/o | Shoes c/o | Hat
being a perfectionist, I’ve always struggled with comparing myself to others. It’s a constant battle. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at holding these thoughts at arm’s length. There are still some moments where it consumes me, and it’s still extremely difficult. The tips you gave are pretty good, especially for a blogger! Great post Lauren xx
Melina | melinaelisa.com
I agree with all of these! I totally need to get better at putting my phone down though. Sometimes it can just be too addicting.
I seriously loved this post and your tips! Very wise! I struggle with this as well. Thanks for the encouragement!
Absolutely love this post, Lauren!! Couldn’t agree more with everything you said. Definitely coming back to reference this post when I need it!
Saved this post! I’ve definitely been struggling with and needed the reminder. Thanks so much girl!
Very wise and strong words indeed! Blogger or not, I think it is human nature to play the comparison game. When I catch myself doing that, I stop…trust in God, celebrate other people’s successes and acknowledge how many blessings and opportunities I have had. I really enjoyed reading this post! TY!
xo Debbie | http://www.tothineownstylebetrue.com
I couldn’t agree more with all of these! The blogging world can definitely be challenging.